Lurkers Anonymous

Hi, I'm FA and I'm a Lurker. I first got started doing this when I visited a friend, Jenn in Holland and I was hooked. From there it escalated and I found "myself" in various blogs all over the net. While Jenn reminded me of myself in my early thirties with my initial confusion and wonderment at life in the Netherlands, Soccer Mom in Denial lives the life I might if I had done some things differently. In fact, her handle could be mine as with two girls I was not supposed to be a "Soccer Mom". Life seems to laugh at her just as it does at me and I have spent many an afternoon entertained by her blog entries and thought, "There but for the grace of God...". And then I stumbled onto 'Twas Brillig and got caught up in her Soap Opera Sunday and Flashback Friday entries and I just couldn't stop lurking. I didn't feel that I could comment. Me, who discusses with strangers on the bus or in the shops in any of 3 languages. But I felt odd, just dropping in and giving my opinion. I didn't really belong to this world. But I couldn't stop lurking...

It got really bad one day when I saw all the links Jenn had posted and I couldn't resist finding out who these people were...Gunfighter has such a wonderful male point of view and I share so much of his political orientation that I would love meeting him in person. Next I followed Jenn's links read what Anno had been blogging. Again I read so much that resonated that she could be my sister. Especially her blogs on her ex-pat experiences are things I can relate to. Maybe in the future I can join with her and update how things have changed since her visits. But in any case her writing captivated me. Then there was the fellow Texan Shelly who has such a similar childhood that I almost passed out from deja-vu overload when she blogged about her piggy bank. I had that piggy bank! Reading Worker Mommy makes me almost jealous at the calmness and creativity she has in her approach to life. Well, okay, I am jealous, but it doesn't stop me from reading and I hope to get up the courage to comment soon. She seems to have a really neat bunch of blog-friends that I also been lurking at.

I know, this is really getting out of hand now. Especially when I find myself identifying with a few R-rated blogs such as the ones by Cathouse Teri and Crystal. I consider them my voyeuristic pleasures. Ah to have the freedom of expression these ladies have! Though I'm not sure I would want to live their adventures, I get serious pleasure out of reading about them and regularly ROFLOL times.

And then when I need to be reminded that no matter how frustrated and unhappy I am in my life, I really have it great, I turn to Sweet and Salty Kate. Her heartbreaks and courage facing them have made for riveting reading that I have only been able to take in small doses they have been so moving. She has made me reach out with my mind and prayers and some day I hope to have something profound enough to say in a comment to her.

Yes, I am a Lurker. I should say Recovering Lurker. I have taken the first steps. I have made a few comments. I have started a blog. I have entered a contest and responded to a meme. I have now made a few links. I hope in the future to have a blogroll and pictures an buttons and...

As we say in LA, one blog at a time.