Please Procrastinate

Today marked another milestone in my eldest daughter's life journey.  A small one for her, as she will continue on with challenges and stresses that will involve me less and less.  But today she completed one of the last major assignments that she has in her high school career.  There is one more term, but as they are now trying to complete the syllabus in all her subjects, she will likely only have regular homework assignments, then the practice exams and the all-encompassing final exams in May. 

So tonight's essay, finally completed and sent off at the midnight deadline, was much procrastinated and struggled with, and marks the end of a chapter in her life and mine.  I don't think she even realizes this.  Generally she gets on with her work without me, and only if I am lucky do I get to read an assignment, usually after it has been graded.  But this time, due to time constraints,  I was asked to help her brainstorm the topic she should write on, and helped to do a websearch for sources.  I even got to do an early proofread.  And..."Wow."  When did she get so smart?  And funny?  And where did she get those insights?  I thought I was good at Math, and while I could pretty readily follow the proof she wrote,  I could never have come up with it as she did.  OK,  maybe I am selling myself short,  as in college I was a Math whiz and I did some pretty complex stuff, but I was at least 4-5 years older and a junior in college at the time.  So now I can say she is working at a level about 5 years ahead of  what was close to my peak in education. 

Don't tell her, but she has already surpassed me.  And she still has a ways to go before she reaches her peak potential.  I am proud.  And sad.  She is growing up and slipping away so fast.  And very probably this was the last time I will get to help her with homework. 

I fuss at her about procrastinating, but a small voice inside me wants to plead with her to just put off for a little while longer the realization that she doesn't need me anymore...