Yes, I am still here. Thanks for asking. Hugs and lovely thoughts to all those who have sent messages and prayers my way. I just stalled out and crashed for a bit.
There came a point in the crises where I have had to do everything I could not to lose it. The energy to rant and curse and fight just ran out, the tears dried up, and numbness and shell-shock set in. I've been going through the motions and doing the daily tasks and yet felt there was no real "life" to any of it, although unfortunately, this is my reality.
My friend Jenn's post kind of brought home to me why I have had such trouble talking about this. While in my daily life I can put on a mask and make the small talk and attempt to follow normal social conventions, in this blogsphere I use the anonymity to allow for honest, unvarnished openness. And for a while now the pain of the various struggles has been such that I could hardly bear to look at it myself, much less share it with others.
I am ok. We are ok. But finding the new "normal" is taking some time. I will be sporadic in the posts for a bit. I have lots I want to say and share and happier times to cheer myself and others on with. But the energy levels are still pretty low.
But summer is coming. It seems to take forever in this part of the world. But it is, like healing and acceptance, inevitable.
Warmest heartfelt wishes to you all. Thanks for not forgetting about me!
Fourier Analysis is a mathematical tool which can do a number of things: separate out signals from noise; help identify patterns or trends in data; filter out all unwanted data and focus on a single signal; use approximations to make generalizations; make approximations of real world signals (think electronic music); combine harmonics to get a stronger signal. That's what I'll be trying to do here!! Won't you join me with your comments?
Friday, June 13, 2008
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