In Search of my Inner Elf...

I am really not ready for Christmas this year. Oh the presents have been bought and mostly wrapped. The tree is decorated and we have a few lights up in the kitchen and decorations placed around. I have put Christmas cards through the mailbox, and survived the various holiday events at the kids' schools. Christmas music has been on the stereo since Thanksgiving. But still I am feeling like the Grinch.

I look at my list and realise that yet again the Christmas newsletter to friends and family has not been written to go into the cards. And though I got away with the joke of "Merry Christmas, er...oops!" in the Easter greetings once, really it is not even funny anymore. And when so much of the news is bad you don't even feel like talking about it for fear that it will be such a depressing missive that no one wants to read this time of year. So how do I explain all this in the short note included in the Christmas greetings? (sigh) Go to the next item on the list.

Christmas baking has never been my forte. Okay, baking and cooking are not skills I brag about. I am great at chemistry, which generally prevents any major disasters in the kitchen. But it is not something I do for fun. However, my children love it and I have made the preparations, but still the spirit has not moved me. Besides, I insist that the house be thoroughly cleaned prior to taking on a task which itself will require a major clean-up. So that's what I have been working on all day. Now I am to tired to take on such a major task so maybe it will be something for tomorrow. Back to the list.

Christmas crafts. This was started at the beginning of December, and some cards and decorations were made. But it hardly puts a dent in supplied I have collected and really the kids got on with it by themselves without me having to do more than referee and nag about clearing up. However, since then they have hardly touched the stuff and now I am making the "Tired Mommy" decision and relegating all the supplied back to the storage from whence they came. Finally, something I can check off the list! But of course not without some twinge from a guilty conscience.

Delivering presents round to friends. Now this is something I can get into a bit. Unfortunately as I must drive, I don't get to partake of the wine/eggnog/gluhwein etc. But I can share in the fellowship and I find this does start to thaw the winter chill that seems to have taken over my mood. For some reason this year everyone seems to be tired and run-down. We all joke and moan and commiserate. And I get fussed at for breaking the promises we made not to do any gifts. But I had to do one basket for a friend and it was just easy to go ahead and do 5. And yes, I got a bit carried away and seemed to find the perfect little something that made each gift personalized. But it was the only fun I had in terms of buying for Christmas so all the recipients laugh and grudgingly accept that this was "therapy" of the retail nature and all is forgiven.

There it is. The spirit of giving. That's what has begun to revive the memories of merriment. The thaw in my heart has begun and I am starting to relax. Now may be the time to get out the DVD of "A Christmas Carol" and gather the family round. I might even get a few cards written while settled on the couch in front of the TV.

It won't be a big family holiday, but a small one with hubby and the kids. And in the evening of the 25th we will get together with friends and their kids and the accompanying chaos. On the 26th we will travel to Germany for a visit with in-laws, returning in time to celebrate the New Year with other friends and of course fireworks. The weather has thus far co-operated with some lovely cold days and spectacular frosting of trees and plants, although very little snow has covered the ground and the roads have not been too bad for driving.

I shouldn't complain but I do. It has been a hard year. And the coming one promises to start with further difficulties. Still I have good friends and good blog-friends and that is really what Christmas is all about.

Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you too can find your "Inner Elf" and enjoy the holiday as it is really meant to be celebrated, in the love and warmth of good company, friendship and affection. And here's hoping that the New Year brings joys to temper the sorrows, warmth to ease the coldness that seeps in from the dark corners of the world and hope that somehow in some small way we can all help to make things better.

Peace